birthday wish

turning 21 in 2 weeks...my one and only impossible wish is to see him face-to-face for the last time bfr he moves on.....

The End of a Love Story

this blog was created from love.... but if the relationship is not there.....whats the use.................. i had to let go...... GODDDDDDD i don't want to!!! but i had to.....he was unhappy n tortured by my mistakes....i dont deserve him..... frm that the i lost all rights.... now im just a girlfriend who cheated...yeah thats right i cheated with his best friend..i told him on the spot i did it....its been months n all this time he pretended he was ok with it....he never was.... he is a great guy...n he deserve a great girl....i m not great.... im the worst kind.....the pain is so great it can bring down the largest mammal on earth....i dont want to but i have to ...if i love him.... i have to make him happy... i never love someone as much....never! goodbye my lover

:(

sigh*....... maybe the fact that he is a young guy or maybe its just because he is a guy, he doesnt seem to understand when some of his actions hurt..even the little ones.... communication is important in a relationship..that is well known fact...it is the written law of the universe...and choosing that over movie time....well..
of course the reason behind it was that when he wants to talk its either im in a bad mood or sleepy but we have to talk whenever i want to talk... which to him is unfair apparently.... so if he sees it this way.... then in the end they wont be any conversation at all...there goes the relationship... its long distance for God sake!! compromise with me!! this relationship is base on being fair......not one of us want to be the one who cares more...not one of us want to sacrifice more than the other...its if you did that then i can do whatever i want to counterbalance what u did.. is this the modern relationship?...what happen to:i will die for you, cross the ocean for you...and all those romantics ballads that we heard and see all the time..... the entertainment business did a superb job in making us believe that whatever they put out is based on real life situation...and i hate it..heart broken to bits

you can feel it when something is wrong n sometimes it feels like you cant fix this one..... you just dont know what to do anymore.... u want it to work so bad but things are just not going your way... u need divine intervention ...but the Divine will do whatever He wants and whatever He wants might not be what you want and in the end u might or might not get what u want..... not that complicated.... its simple and its written...
ask and you shall receive...with a condition...ask for the right stuff.... there are so many ways possible to ask for something but only few of those are the 'receivable' way....
sometimes u just get so tired u dont want anything anymore.... you just want to be..i dont know... free?.. whatever that means... you want every inch of u body and soul to feel out of this world.... ecstatic... free...
you dont want to hear nags, ambulance sirens, police cars, thunder, pain....but maybe the rain, or leaves rustling , the sounds of wind, the silence of winter, water?

maybe its better if we just die and leave all this...but i have tasted love and i am not ready to give that up for a maybe.... i am in love with L.O.V.E .. keeps me feeling high and on top of the world.... im just human....im too stupid too care for anything less.. and perhaps still not ready to move on for something more.... :)